What it feels like to continue a higher level of study? - seewriteandpost.com

I never had the thought of continuing my study at a higher level and I never expect that I made it trough. Recently, I'd passed my Viva, and soon will be graduated. I don't think I can make it through, but it turns out I made it.

I am not bragging about how proud I am to myself, nor how good I am in the study and how I felt so good about myself. But, when I look back at that time of what I am going through, the hardship, the problems and all of my up and down emotion through all the years of studying, it's worth it. 

I'm not saying this is one hundred percent true, but mostly when I meet with people that know about my background of the study, some of them think that I am so good. But, the truth is,

  1. I never had a great achievement in school.
  2. I don't know almost everything.
  3. I learn all from the below.
  4. I waste so much money.
  5. I am stressed.
  6. I am still learning.
  7. I always think there's a lot of things I missed.
I was having no money and had to borrow some from my parents. We are not from a rich family, and I had to pay off my studies.

When I was still studying at the age of 25, I was being compared by my other friend. Being compare based on the job and based on who got married first. Truthfully, I feel sad because you just wanted to do your part without being judge by others. We know what choice we made but not everyone understands it.

At some point, I wanted to give up and stop. I almost made up my mind, stop and find a job, satisfies everybody feels. But then, I remember how much money my parents help me with and how supportive my other friends, by saying you had gone this far, don't give up. And to think that if God helps me to be in this place right now, He would also help me until I can make it. So, I continue my studies even I know I am far behind from everybody else.

What you should prepare to continue to a higher level of study?

  1. Prepare your mind, be strong. It is not the same as taking a degree. For Master or Ph.D., especially research, you are in your own way.
  2. Money. Pay the tuition, the cost, and materials you use for your research.
  3. Make a friend. It is a crucial thing to get along with your colleagues.
  4. See your supervisor. Get along with your supervisor, he/she is the one who will help you with your thesis.
  5. Keep going on. At one point, you will felt alone, and pressure with your thesis, time, and surrounding you. Remember one thing, you choose this path, finish it and never gave up.
Note that, this is only me who thinks like that, because everyone had their own struggle in studies.
Also at that time, I'd been asked by some people about the random question, such as,

why you continue to study? ....
You are wasting your time ...
still no job?.... 
wasting money ...

Honestly, I don't have an answer for that, at least I am happy doing the thing I am good at, doing research and study more. Sometimes it hurts because people won't understand the choice you made and I don't need to prove to anyone as long as I know what I do.

And after so long, I just let it slip, hear what other people say behind my back but at the end of the day, I still make it. But still, I don't do that to satisfied people but above all, I grow myself from it, I learn to level up my skills of thinking, my writing, my research not just in terms of academics but also how I deal with my stress. The study had made me think that there's a lot of things that I don't know.

If you ask me again, why I continue to study? Because I like to learn about the things that I interested in without thinking about what my future will be like. It satisfied me, not others.

"With a stressful life, doing research, added with pressure people puts on you, lab, statistics and being compared by others. It is worth enough for me."



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