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    The Oak Garden Building | Short Story 2021

    As I gaze out my window at the sky while watching my children sleep,  the brisk winds remind me of a building that I once lived in,  wherein I saw, sensed, and were horrified,  an encounter with which I'm not comfortable speaking.  Fortunately, everything turned up okay. My name is Herman, but my friends called me Er, and the following is a story of what occurred to me 23 years ago. I have had a passion for writing since a kid. Now my guardian thinks I can go even farther. Consequently, they help me submit an authorship application and enrol in further linguistic, writing, and journalistic courses. Little did I realise that I'd be given a job to help me improve my abilities while simultaneously taking part-time writing courses to support my income. I was a young twenty-year-old at the time. Too young, yet inquisitive and willing to try new things. As a young author, the chance pushed me to go outside my comfort zone and acquire essential experience.  Pay attention to the sound

    Living with depression - Breakthrough and lives

    See, Write, and Post-it. Our eyes see and record every memory that goes on in life.

    First of all, let's get the facts! 
    • Depression is a common mental disorder. Globally, more than 264 million people of all ages suffer from depression.
    • Depression is a leading cause of disability worldwide and is a significant contributor to the overall global burden of disease.
    • More women are affected by depression than men.
    • Depression can lead to suicide.
    • There are effective psychological and pharmacological treatments for moderate and severe depression.


    Everything was perfect within the years. I can remember I have a good living even I don't have anything back then. I have a good memory of childhood even I know that my life wasn't perfect and life isn't stressful like now. When I was still a kid, I remember how big is my world; it as if the world is ours to play within. Kid memories were filled with a happy moment. 


    Every moment that I live is just perfect, even there was a problem, a lot actually, but it just passed by like that. I didn't think much about it; it's not my priority at that time. However, as I growing up, there's a lot of struggle in my life, and it just happened, just like that.

    Depression can happen from any sort of occasion, from school, work, jobless, family history, money, or your personality. And it can happen to anyone. In 2017, I didn't realise that I had some sort of depression symptom, but I know that I have completely lost interest in anything I do. I feel sadder often than happy; I lose concentration and eventually affecting my work and school. 

    I don't know how it starts to tell the truth, but I guess the reason is that I was stress and unemployed. I was living in the city and running out of money; simultaneously, I have to plan to pay for my school and other utilities. But, I got a good and understanding family; they did help me in so many ways. However, I still have the guilt of being troublesome.

    I thought that my stress was only on that period of a month, but it lasts longer than I thought, and it became worst as the year pass by. Throughout the years, I don't have the motivation in completing my study. I lost interest; I felt worthless, hopeless, tired, and falling behind. I totally lost interest in everything. 

    BREAKTHROUGH AND LIVES!

    I seemed okay with my friends, but inside I have really shut my life from everyone. I kept everything to myself; sometimes, I was crying in the room and hoping that things would come back to normal as before, where I don't really feel too emotional or sad. Depression took away happiness; I am worried more rather than being okay with everything.


    The worst scenario is when I felt like everyone is not giving me support, but they are there, giving their best to tell me it's okay. Comforting me with the words, but I just don't feel enough of it. I was trying to get open and try being optimistic, but it's too hard. Even I was attending an event in the church and try to be honest, telling everything, there's just a gap where my brain said they won't understand anything.

    The year 2018 was my worst year; I have an issue with my thoughts, gain weight too much, and struggle to find life; I even had the self-destruction of ending my life. The pressure overtook my joyfulness. It's getting worst in the year 2019; I had severe sleeping trouble. I only slept for about 6 or 5 hours; whenever I tried to sleep, my heartbeat fast. I've been to the hospital for that year, checking on my health, I thought I was having a heart problem, but I had anxiety instead.

    Everyone has a different way of dealing with their depression. One of the ways is by talking with someone that you trust. At the end of the year 2019, I was getting better with my situation. I can't remember how that happened, but I guess it's from talking with someone you really trust and understand. Sometimes the problem came from us (myself). We shut everyone else, and the result is we are getting worse.


    In the early year of 2020, I'm learning on meditated and changed my lifestyle. I started changing my lifestyle; I often exercise, eat good food, read more books (a motivating book) and pray more. It's not the best year because of the pandemic and a lockdown, but it does give me a space to explore more in my life. I still had anxiety throughout the early year of 2020. But, things got better as I focus more on myself.


    I hope you will get healthier in physical and mental health; depression is a silent killer; we can make this, talk to someone, find a hobby, and keep praying.

    "You feel this way because you walk your ways based on your own strength, this time, try to walk with God."

    Disclaimer: The purpose of this blog's post is to help others who were having the same experiences to live a better lifestyle. I'm not an expert in mental health, but I hope you will get better and believes there always hope in despair. 

    Comments

    1. Very good post about living with depression. Highly informative and nicely written. Keep up the good work.

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